Sharm Al Sheikh December 2010

The day was cold with snow on the ground when we left the house at 05:30 on Sunday 28^th of November. We arrived at the airport just before 07:00 and were met by meet and greet staff, who parked the car, leaving us free to just walk in and collect our tickets. We made our way straight to departures pulling our little carry on suitcases. They did a full search of Alex’s luggage since he didn’t take out his little plastic bag of toiletries and place it in the buckets!

We boarded the plane about 09:00 and were sitting with the aisle between us. On our way home we will pay an extra £12 and pre-book our tickets to be certain we can sit together. We sat on the plane for a half hour while they de-iced and took off at 09:30

There were lots of children on the plane and the two directly in front of Alex were Angelic; a young couple with two little girls, one about three years and the little one six months. The flight was five hours.

We arrived at Sharm airport four thirty their time and Egypt is two hours ahead of the U.K. It was a small airport all on one level. First thing I had to do was find the toilets and when I did I was too disgusted to use them! Each one of the five cubicles was filled with tissue and the smell was out of this world. There was only one soap dispenser for all the sinks. I would wait.

The shuttle bus to our resort was arranged by Thompson and included in the cost of our holiday As we had no luggage to collect we were out ahead of the rest. Alex noticed a taxi service at the exit and decided we would get a taxi to our hotel as it was almost dark. He paid £20. 180 Egyptian pounds, he was tired and did not want to wait around for our bus and all the others. I was apprehensive after what I had read online. Alex said, “The stand is beside airport security.”

The taxi driver drove fast over the bumpy paved four lane divided road. We had to stop to a crawl twice at checkpoints along the route where police were posted 24 hours. Alex noticed the one behind the shield had an automatic weapon. We arrived at the resort at 05:30 and at the entrance just inside the double glass doors, two police officers sat 24 hours. Our luggage was passed through a metal detector just like the airport.

The resort is huge with thirty-three complexes of twenty rooms each on two levels. All white outside with both levels having balconies and two chairs and a table. We were led to a room at the back side of the resort, lower level #2115. It was nice enough but our view was of other blocks of buildings. We had booked a sea view and were not happy with this. The Muslim staff said, “This is side sea view” We were tired and decided to let it go for now and deal with the reception staff in the morning.

At six-thirty we strolled to the main hotel lobby and dining room. There was a Restaurant named ‘My place.’ (pay for) and one called L’Opera which was three huge dining areas with five different buffets. One with about eight different hot dishes, two kinds of soup pots, and a carvery bar where there was different meat each night as well as Egyptian type foods to chose from. Another was a salad bar, third a huge variety of breads, yeast breads and unleavened bread as well as sweet breads. Next a dessert bar different each night and including fruit choices. There was also an individual waffle station and alternating with crepes.

This is the first Dining room with two large sections of tables. Through the door, there is a terrace type dining area with the largest number of tables and chairs. The floor is tile, plant baskets hang from the ceiling, ferns etc. The outside wall is simply a net and the roof is wooden slats which has open spaces big enough for small birds to get through. In this dining area there is more ‘live cooking stations’. This first night they cooked pasta along with a beef and vegetable stir fry. Everything was self serve except for the drinks; tea or coffee and soda water (what I refer to as sparking water)

They also have beer on tap and house wine, white or red. The drinks were brought to the table and the used plates were collected by the male staff, about three in each dining area. All the staffs are young men, restaurant staff, reception staff, cleaning staff even in the toilet areas. Candle lanterns glow on each table and serviettes are white linen and green linen for evening, paper serviettes for breakfast.

Monday morning we did not wake until nine o’clock but not so late when we stop to realize we are on UK time only seven. First thing we did was arrange for an upgrade to our definition of Sea view. It cost us £360 or 3,340 in Egyptian £’s We were escorted by Ali to the front edge of the resort and he took us into room 3114 second level with a wall of double patio door facing east for a full view of the Red Sea and the sun rise. We can see down the cliff to the Grillhouse Restaurant and the two lower pools. It is so much better! We agree that this is acceptable and Ali goes back for our two small suitcases. In our North American hotels one would find the Gideon bible in the bedside table. Here, there is a sticker with an arrow showing which direction to pray.

here is so much to do here, if one is full of energy; Giant chess, a tennis court, beach volleyball, snorkelling, diving mini golf and billiards, also an internet corner. The staff speaks English, German, Dutch and Russian. (Enough to fulfil the needs of guests but not carry on a conversation) I guess it’s specific to the resort and their particular job.

We attend the welcome meeting of our Thompson Rep., Hany. There were three other couples and two women listening to his information session. He informed us of all the different excursions we could buy and taught us how to haggle with the shop staff off the resort. He taught us the three important Egyptian phrases for a tourist to know;

Not sure of the spelling just write as it sounds, Chakra – thank you, La Chakra – no thank you and “fell mish mish” – in your dreams. He said if you speak in Egyptian to them, they think, “oh they’ve been here before or they are no push over. He talked about the Bedouin people. And said they are the one’s whose women only show their eyes. Only their family can see their face. When a Bedouin woman is engaged, even their fiancée can’t see her face until they are married. Then if she is very beautiful, the father would get ten camels from the groom. If only average looking, the father would get 4 camels. And if the husband was not pleased with the face of his new wife the father would receive only one camel!

After this information session, we went to the pool and enjoyed the sun for about an hour before we went into the ‘Golden Spa’ We book a honeymoon spa treatment which included a Sauna, a Turkish bath, followed by a Jacuzzi soak for 15 min and a cup of tea, then a full body massage and a facial. We would be back tomorrow at 9:30 a.m. Sunrise today was at 06:15 Breakfast at 08:00

We enjoyed our breakfast in the terrace room. I ate the same each morning, fruit in a bowl with oatmeal yogurt on top and pomegranate seeds, along with a croissant or another variety of bread roll. Strangest thing is that I cannot eat bread at home without the cough reaction a few hours later. Bread here did not have that affect on me. I also had pineapple juice and tea. In the daylight we noticed the birds. Little birds the size of budgies and they hoped around the room getting crumbs off the floor. If a guest leaves their table unattended to go for another food item, the birds swoop in three at a time and pick at the bread, or sit on the milk pitcher and drink the milk!! When we saw this, we took turns guarding the food or placed an upside down plate over any food still on the table.

Tuesday morning we walked down the 60 steps to the pool area and to the spa beside the pool. Our Turkish bath was something totally unique and a new experience for me. Alex had enjoyed similar in Holland years ago. First, we were led to the sauna where we laid on the wood for fifteen minutes. The staff came to let us know time for a cool shower and then, back to the sauna for five minutes. Next, into a room with white marble floor, marble walls and four large marble slabs about 15 feet by fifteen feet and two feet high. I was led by a young woman dressed in black footless tights and a red plaid skirt. She wore a white long sleeved shirt and white scarf covering her head and wrapped around her neck. Wearing my two piece swim suit, I stood by a bucket and she ran the taps to fill the bucket then scooped tepid water over my head and wet me down. At the same time a young man was doing the same thing to Alex at the other side of the marble slab. Next, we lay down on our front on the slab and the scrubbing started at the feet. Each wore a glove on one hand, it was quite a bit rougher then a loofa. The feet the legs, the arms etc all scrubbed and then rinsed by dumping the bucket over us. Turn over on back and do the same. Then turn over again. I had my eyes closed and felt something warm and soft beginning at my feet, I peaked to see a mound of soap suds. She smoothed these over with her hands and then more water dumped on top. I think the duration was about thirty minutes and we were then asked to stand up. It was all very slippery and I asked her to rinse all the soap away from the floor first or I thought I would slip and fall.

Next we were led to the Jacuzzi for a relaxing sit and water massage. In fifteen minutes one of the guys brought us a cup of tea. The walls were covered with beautiful murals of ancient Egyptian baths. The sun shimmered through the windows on the south side and we were alone in the room.

After about twenty minutes we were taken to another room down the hall. Two massage tables side by side. They put Alex on the left side and me on the other. A different girl gave me the massage then the one who did the scrub. Alex had the same guy to give his massage. The music was not relaxing and the volume was too loud. We asked to have the volume lowered. Other than that I found the massage relaxing and effective to relieve muscle tension and give a feeling of well-being. The facial was really lovely.

We were out of the spa by 12:45 and sat in a shady place at the pool, to wait for the Grill house to open for lunch.

We were finished our lunch and picking at the fruit when a couple stopped beside our table on their way out.

“Do you like that fruit?” The woman spoke.

“It has a unique taste, not too sweet but a little bland. I’ve not tasted it until today.”

The man spoke. “It’s Guava fruit.”

Alex spoke, “I’m Alex, and this is my wife Linda.”

“I’m Trudy and this is Jim.”

I invited them to sit for a minute since we had a table for four.

We chatted for about fifteen minutes and by the time we were going out Jim had reserved a table for tonight for the four of us for dinner. We had not had an evening meal down here yet.

Jim was born in Scotland and Trudy Berlin. We left them about 1:30 and said we would meet back her at 07:00. Jim has white hair a white moustache and goatee.

Trudy has grey hair and a lovely complexion. When we went down at 7 on the button, they were already waiting outside.

“Jim said, I’ll take care of the meal and you can buy the drinks.”

“Isn’t it all inclusive?” I asked.

Jim grinned. “HA” Alex said, “you nearly got me.”

It was an enjoyable dinner. We have a choice of buffet items here. Also a choice of meat, there is a glass case and the choices are displayed. You say what you want and it is cooked to order and brought to the table. Tonight it is fish, calamari. Beef steak or chicken kebabs. We started with zucchini soup and flat bread. Then choose from the buffet items or salad bar and the server’s brought the meat to the table as we were ready for out hot items.

They were curious as to how we met and we tell the story. Then we asked about them, A Scot and a German married for fifty years. He is 74 and she is 73. Jim had a double heart bypass ten years ago and Trudy recently had a scare with breast cancer and underwent chemo therapy and a partial mastectomy.

Jim was in the RAF and in Germany when the Russians were invading. Trudy was in a bar in Berlin and saw him trying to pick up another German girl. He was not doing so well with the language so she offered to translate. Later he asked to take her to the cinema to thank her for her translation services. She said no at first but he persisted. He said it was love at first site but she said not for her. Her mother was against this friendship but Jim won her over when he came to the house with a gift for her mother of a large tin of coffee. “I could have been the King then!” he said.

So they eventually married and she travelled the world with him. He was a radar specialist in the Royal Air force. They have two daughters and a son and 8 grand children. And they now live in Kings Lynn, only an hour from Wymondham. They’ve been retired for ten years and travel year round, staying home for a few weeks and away for a month. They go on cruises and Jim spent the dinner showing photos on his digital camera of all the places they’ve been.

Wednesday morning, I was up at 06:30 and watched the sun rise above the horizon of the Red Sea. It was a quiet morning – most mornings were quiet! We were strolling to the main Dining room about seven o’clock. It was a ten minute walk, uphill most of the way.

I had my food and waited at the table for awhile before Alex came with his plate.

“I couldn’t find the cheese slices,” he said.

It was beside the salad items; two plates full of stacks of slices of different varieties. Now it is in blocks in a glass case and a server stands there with a slicing machine and serves guests a slice of their choice. Alex asked for two slices. They have initiated some portion control. The Russian holiday makers have a reputation for gluttony and greediness. None of the staff like them – they stack their plates and take desserts to their tables first as if there will be none left after the first course. In the Grill house down on the beach, they fill handbags with oranges, bananas etc. The Russian men are drinking all day and by evening meal, some are staggering in the dining room.

House brand beer and wine are served all inclusive from 10 to 10. Imported vodka etc costs extra. We learned this from Trudy and Jim as we were in bed by ten most nights!

After breakfast arrived back to our cool room by 09:00 and Alex is still happy to sleep for the morning. I went to get our towels and claim our lounge chairs. I found a perfect place down two more levels on the cliff and right next to the sea wall. With more thought, I considered Alex and decided the sixty steps to the pool were enough for him and went back up to the pool area. Yesterday the news flash around the resort was that a lady had been bitten by a shark – due to that the red flag was out and no diving or snorkelling. When we arrived back home we heard on the news that a German diver had been killed by the shark and 4 others injured!

I placed our chairs in the same space as yesterday, facing west, and a few steps from the swimming pool. We have a square slated umbrella and a shelf on our pole; a place to sit our cold drinks. At ten o’clock I walked to get some soda water and lemon. When I get too hot, it’s into the pool for a cool off.

I was stretched out with my hat over my face when I heard a man’s voice behind my head, “Lady, you like newspaper?”

I put my hand up and ready to say, “La Chakra.” As I turn around and remove my hat I saw it was Jim chuckling with satisfaction, that he had fooled me.

“Where is Alex?”

“I expect he is sleeping, he will be down before lunch. Where is Trudy?”

“Over there,” he points to a place in more shade. “We will see you both later.” He goes off to sit with Trudy in the shade and I settled down to soak up the heat.

Alex needs to catch up on his sleep. He has left his phone off and neither of us has gone near the internet. We need this complete break from work. I see Alex coming down the stairs at 11:30 when I was in the pool with Trudy. He took photos and then sat on the lounge for awhile. Dried off and ready for lunch at one o’clock. We take lunch in the Grill house today, with Trudy and Jim. Choice of two types of rice, grilled chicken, beef sausages, ( ground beef with spices and shaped into a sausage shape) hot pita bread cooked in the oven right in front of us, a variety of cooked vegetable dishes and a vegetable salad bar. The tomatoes were deep dark red and full of flavour. Dessert was choice of apples, oranges or dates and Dixie cups of ice cream. More conversation over lunch as Jim relates their travel stories and Alex relates some of ours.

After lunch we had another hour of sun by the pool, a swim and then climbed the stairs for the coolness of our room. Alex is ready for another nap. The balcony is in the shade now so I sit out there and write. Alex snoozed in the air conditioned room. The room is spacious with white tile floors, white walls and twin beds which we pushed together. There is a flat screen television which we have not turned on. A large desk, and two tub chairs and a little table. We have lots of closet space and a safe to keep our passports and money. The bathroom has a toilet, bide (not sure of spelling) A large sink and vanity and a tub with shower on the wall. We can control the air conditioning. I am always raising the temp and Alex lowering it! The large window patio doors are covered with a heavy rubber drape and fabric drape in front of that. Each afternoon Mohammad, the cleaner of this block, brings us two bottles of water and two cola or sprite to put in the fridge in our room.

I wrote notes in my journal, watched Para sailing couples and there were four cruising tour boats along the coastline. We can see Tiran Island from our room. It is just a large rock with four smaller islands between it and the coastline. This area is among the worlds most brilliant diving waters. Where we are is actually the eastern coast of Sinai, not Egypt. We are a couple of hundred miles past the Suez canal. The Egyptian border is about 20 miles inward and west. Cairo is 500 km west of us. They spell it Kairo here. Dahab is 100km. A house can be purchased in this area for £19,000 I have no idea of the cost of everyday items other then sun tan oil, sun glasses etc. It seems comparable to British £ expensive when compared to Canada. If we were to take an excursion to Kario we would need a visa and they can be purchased for £15. We could have bought one at the airport upon entry or our Thompson rep could get us one. We are content to shuffle in slow speed at the resort!

Wednesday evening after dinner… eight o’clock, we stopped by the Papyrus shop where gorgeous Egyptian painting on papyrus are sold. Casper is the Egyptian man in charge of the shop tonight. He explained about papyrus and how it is made from reeds soaked in water and beaten to a pulp and flattened and rolled and eventually made ‘paper-thin’ and dried. I asked, “Like Moses basket?”

“Yes!” he replied.

He said that pretend papyrus is made from mashed dried banana skins and glue and not to be confused with the real stuff. He is smart as a tack with sales skills and dripping with confidence about his products. Asks our names and where we are from, speaking English very well. When he discovers Alex is from Scotland and I am Canadian, the inevitable curiosity takes over.

“How did you end up in England?”

We provided a brief synopsis and he says, “I tell you what, I am going to give you a gift…even if you don’t buy anything, you have this gift for free. He pulls out a book mark with the hieroglyphic alphabet on it. “This is for you Linda.” It is in a plastic sleeve and has a blue thread tassel on it.

We decide on a beautiful large art of a blue circle with an inner white circle and Egyptian people holding hands around the circle, two women and then a man…two women and a man etc. There are 12 people in all representing the 12 months of the year. They are all holding hands 24 hands representing the hours in a day. In the middle of the circles are 365 astrological stars. The colours are magnificently vibrant and with dots of gold fleck throughout to make it glow in the dark. I had been looking at a small one about 6 x 8 inches and Casper says…that one you get for free if you want the larger one. The small one is a print. The large one is hand painted. I sell the prints to the Russians if they want to buy 3 or four… I can sell them cheaper.

You deserve the hand painted one and I will write your names on it in Egyptian. Alex on one side and Linda on the other and your anniversary date on the bottom. We ask about price. “650 Egyptian £”

“Well, I have to spend £30 British to get it framed.”

“Okay I give it to you for “600 Egyptian £’s you give me £300 now and £300 when I get the names on.”

Alex gave him the £600 and Casper includes a sturdy tube for taking it home. We are both pleased and think we have a perfect memento of our holiday here.

When we are outside, Alex says, “Ours is likely a print to.”

“Maybe it is a print but with paint on top to give it a richer look.”

Still it’s special and has significant meanings. I like it a lot.

We stand out front of the hotel and wait for the bus for 9:00 o’clock as we are going to visit Nama Bay this evening. We got on the bus with a dozen other guests. And had fifteen minute ride, to be dropped off at a street swarming with tourists and tourists being swarmed by shop staff trying to pull them into the shops. I had a white scarf in my bag to cover my hair but did not see any other tourists doing it so didn’t bother.

This street was lined with outdoor bars, filled with soft cushioned sofas, chairs and low tables. Smoker’s Shisha pipes were on the tables. The air was thick with this pungent smoke smell as we walked between the bars under the stars.

The history of shisha goes back to the northern parts of India. Tobacco used to be smoked in coconuts. Later, wealthy Persians gave hookah the appearance they have today; they were designed to smoke opium, and hashish. The people of Egypt use it as Europeans smoke cigarettes. We also saw Shisha pipes in Malaysia when we were there two years ago.
As we stepped from a curb I noticed a dead, dried up rat lying on the street! Next, a police officer dressed in black and with an arm band on his left arm. It read Tourism police. Alex asked if we could take his photo and he smiled and nodded his head. Alex clicked the photo, and I said, “Chakra.” “Welcome”, he replied. Alex remarked to me about the gun hanging in his shoulder holster.
Each of the street Hustlers know enough English to try and pull a little money in. “What’s your name?” “Where you from?” “come in we have nice things…I’m not going to hassle you,” and they are” I wonder if they know the same words in Russian and Dutch and German? As we walked the length of the street, hassled at every twenty feet, Alex came up with a phrase that stopped them pushing and kept them hopeful. “Looking today – buying tomorrow.” This allowed us to keep on walking!
Then they reply, “okay, okay.. See you tomorrow.”
We went into one shop to purchase a swim suit for me. Italian fabric, and design and sewn in Poland, so the label reads. It is silvery grey fabric with silver design on the top and plain bottoms. They asked 160 Egyptian and we paid 110. When we went in the store the sales person was white skinned but spoke Egyptian. Another man who appeared to be the shop owner sat on a low stool and had his food container on another stool in front of him and was eating his dinner. He was the one who had to authorize the lower price.
We came upon a lovely indoor mal similar to our European mall except it is open air in some places and no doors but for a few individually for the shops and then just curtains across some. There were dozens of gorgeous carpets on display, several jewelry stores and lots of souvenir items, statues etc.
We found a chemist shop to purchase some bite cream for my leg bits. From my feet to my knees I am bitten more each day and now on my left leg. At first we thought it was mosquito bites but think it is more likely sand mites. We also bought a cover up with short sleeves and length just above the knees; 100% Egyptian cotton and beautiful blue with bright colored print of pharaoh and rows of Egyptian woman around the bottom and hieroglyphic letters. I know Egyptian woman don’t wear this stuff it is strictly a tourist item and I like it.
As we walk back to find our way to the bus pick up point the music blasts from the night clubs. Alex noticed a quieter alleyway of shops that looked on the lower end of the scale.
“Something is telling me to go down the alley to explore.” He says… down the alley we cautiously go. They are dirty little shops with dirty people beckoning us to stop. Alex uses his line about returning tomorrow. There are bins of leather slippers and dish towels. Belly dance costumes – all sorts of things. We make our way a few hundred feet down the winding alleyway and there was a cat and a kitten in the middle of the alley. Alex picked up the kitten and I took a photo. A few more shops and we finally come out the narrow street and onto the street where we had begun.
It is by now about 10:30 and we notice the familiar MacDonald’s yellow arch!
“I could use the toilet there,” I say with relief.
We go up the stairs, walk inside and while Alex buys two cones I find the toilet…zero tissue as per normal. I have learned to be prepared, as the airport was the same, so, tissues in my bag. Two cones £18 Egyptian. We took our ice-cream outside and sat on wooden chairs listening to the sounds and watching the people. When we went to wait at our pick up point there were six other buses that came along before ours. Throngs of people from other hotels climbed up and were driven away. When ours arrived we were only two of five to return at this early hour! The other dozen or so will return at midnight with the last bus back to Dreams beach resort.
It was such an experience, I felt slightly on edge at the uncertainty of it all. I really couldn’t relax there and, worried that we would not find our way back to the bus. We didn’t venture very far, stayed on the one block when there were dozens of streets. We decided that they were likely all pretty much similar. Also, it would likely be different again if we were here in the day time. The rep had advised us to go after dark, too hot during the day. Alex said it was similar to Marrakech in Morocco. I asked for his description in a few words; nuts, manic, confrontational, indulgent and vibrant. Las Vegus on Steroids!

Thursday…..
The place is being decorated for Christmas! All the trunks of the palm trees at the front of the hotel are being wrapped with alternate red or silver cloth. Lights in the shape of musical notes hang from the tops. Santa is hanging on the wall in the dining room at breakfast and Merry Christmas signs are above the doorway. We enjoyed our breakfast and after the walk back to our room, Alex declares the bed looks inviting.
I went to the towel shed for our two towels and claimed a couple of loungers at the pool. They are a much noisier group here today. The children are not the boisterous ones. It is the grown ups! I’m surprised to see a couple of new swim suits on young women. String bikinis and butt cheeks on full display.
I notice a Dutch couple who have been next to us for three days in this same place near the spa and gym building. They sit with their books and don’t talk to one another or anyone else. She is just returning from the W.C. today. That is the sign on the toilet block. As she passes I say, “Are you enjoying yourself?”
“Well, that’s up to me isn’t it? I enjoy myself but this is not a very good place! Then she complained about the food and the service.
“I have been all inclusive before”, she says. “This is not it. We’ve been to Indonesia, and Brazil and they were exceptional. Here these people don’t know about service at all.
I replied, “The weather is perfect!”
“Okay,” she replied. One star for weather, one star for pool and it is still only 2 stars.”
I asked her, “Have you been to the spa for any treatments?”
“I have one at home. I go once a week.”
I let her have the last word and come to the conclusion that happy is an inside thing and a place cannot make you happy or sad. It is just a new space to enjoy your happy in.
Alex has enjoyed his rest and came down the stairs awhile ago. We did a few laps of the pool and then got out to dry off for lunch. We went into the spa and purchased some of the facial product and some oil. We booked another facial for 18:30 tonight.
When we arrive after dark, a young woman and man lead us to the air conditioned room, dimly lit and with music flowing from a wall speaker. We each lay on our back fully dressed and are covered with a towel. This time the music is Egyptian and we both relaxed and enjoyed it.
My masseuse Laya was exceptional and I felt the healing factor in her hands. When she left the room for awhile leaving the mask to work, I could still feel her energies pulsing around my head. We finished about 19:15 and were given a ride on the golf cart up to the dining room.
The food is the same most nights but lots of choice. The servers are so eager to please. Ali is a regular server in the section we often sit on the terrace. This evening he asks Alex if he will give him notes for a roll of coins. Alex said he would bring some notes in the morning – no money in pocket now. I guess it is his tips and the banks here will not take English coins. They change notes but not coins.
I asked about his wages. Ali lives here as all the staff does. He works here for 5 weeks and gets 200 Egyptian £ then goes home for 7 days and back here again. He works three shifts 7-11 / 1-3 and 7-10 just for meal times. All those hours and he gets less than £30! (And his room and board)
After dinner, we walked out of the resort, through the guarded gate and took photos of the statues and fountain in the front. Then, we walked toward the shops that one of the guests talked about. He said there was a camel up the road. So we walked to see the camel, about fifteen minutes along a double carriage way divided road. There were palm trees growing between the double lanes, a wide sidewalk on either side. On our left there are more hotels and luxury shops. We arrived at the tacky tourist bit in fifteen minutes. There was the camel, with legs tucked up sitting at the corner. We took a photo and walked on past the shops. Each shopkeeper sat outside trying to talk us in. One of the men grabbed Alex by the arm, trying to hold us back all the while talking fast about all their lovely things…come inside….come inside.
Alex was very controlled but took his left hand to remove the shopkeepers hand from his right wrist. I said, “la Chakra.”
Alex said to me keep walking. The Egyptian man replied, “la chakra is a bad word – don’t say that.”
We crossed the double lane carriage way to the inner sidewalk to stroll north back to our hotel. As we neared the corner where the shops ended and where the camel sat, a fellow climbed on the camel and trotted him across the street in our direction and stopped. As we approach, “hello…hello, where you from?” We stop as the camel blocks our path.
“England”, Alex replied. “How old is your camel?”
“Five years.”
“What’s his name?”
“Harry. Want a ride?”
“no no…. we have no money, we are only out for a walk.”
“It’s okay, I give you a ride. Your lady like a ride?”
“No, la Chakra” I said.
Now he climbs down and the camel is folding up his legs underneath.
“I will take your photo,” he said. Alex handed over the camera and we posed beside Harry. Alex reached into his pocket and pulled out two coins Egyptian £s and passed them to the camel owner.
“Thank you,” He said and he climbed up on Harry’s back and was on his way!
The curbs here are about a foot high and at every intersection there are bollards that require vehicles to slow to 5 mile an hour or risk damaging springs.
“ I might have liked that experience of a ride.”
Alex replied, “And once you were up there what would you do if he would not let you down until I paid him money?” “This is a busy road and after dark.” It’s dangerous here after dark and he riding his camel down the road is utterly ridiculous!”
The serving staff at the hotel, all wears black shirts with dreams resort logo. The beach staff wears kaki t shirts and beige trousers. On Saturday night the Restaurant staff wears long Egyptian shirts to the floor. All have short hair clean cut and shaven. The guys on the street have longer hair, some dreadlocks and look very different.

After lunch today we strolled along the bottom of the rock cliff with the sea to our right and the cliff to our left. This is the first day Alex has not gone back to bed in the afternoon. We made our way round to the other side on a cement walkway with the high tide washing water over our feet. The red flag was still flying meaning stay out of the water. The glass bottom boats are out today but there is no diving or snorkeling. Four o’clock is usually quiet time. Most leave the beach and the pool and sit at the bar, or lobby or go back to rest and prepare for dinner. What surprised us here is the amount of smokers. The only place smoking is not allowed is the dining room. But the lobby is always full of smokers.
At our Friday night dinner we sat at the inner Restaurant for the first time. We enjoyed a delicious lentil soup. Alex thinks it’s the best thing he has tasted since being here. No appetite tonight for large quantities and we got a small plate of bite size pastries to have with our tea.
After dinner we stopped for out papyrus painting on the way to our room. We went into the perfume shop; listened to the young man give his sales pitch about Egyptian perfume and how it is 100% natural with no chemicals or alcohol. He tells us the French buy it and dilute it with alcohol and sell it for 10 times more money, giving it fancy names.
I tried a few and found one I thought was lovely. Alex liked it as well. We only want a tiny bottle…no we can’t take a big bottle.
“Okay,” he says now something for the man. I have something for you, perfect - you put a little dab here and here and he pointed to his chest one side and the other. Then a little dab here and he points to his groin area! And you have a lovely night a long lovely love night!”
“La chakra, but I don’t wear fragrance,” says Alex. “It gives me a headache.”
We bought a 70 ml bottle of fragrance with an eyedropper stopper in a glass bottle. They taped it up and put it in a box and we paid £130 Egyptian. I pay £50 for my bottle of Gucci rush and it lasts a year. So this is a fair price and the fragrance is delightful!
We take the purchase to our room and on the balcony we hear the music from the amphitheatre. I reminded Alex it is River Dance night, courtesy of the activation team. We’ve not attended any activity yet and we decide to walk over and have a look.
We arrived to catch the last ten minutes of the children’s program. Three young women led a group of ten children and their parents. The youngest child was about 2 and the oldest ten. Unless you count parents who have not lost their inner child and then…who knows. There was singing, dancing and hand clapping with the audience participating as well.
This was followed by a River dance show. One Indonesian man was the lead, and two English girls were dancers in red dresses. Also two other men, one looked Greek and the other possible Turkish. This was their summer job, providing the entertainment for the guests, at the pool, all day, in the disco and here in the amphitheatre on alternate nights.
It would be to easy to criticize but we just said a good effort, they aren’t professionals. They are just making an effort to entertain and that they did do. We were back to our room and to our bed by 11 o’clock or first late night!

Saturday morning and we awake at 07:30, a change from the first day when we were up by six and sitting on the balcony. I went down the stairs with towels and claimed our loungers closer to the sea and a cool breeze. Then we went for a small breakfast fruit and yogurt for me and omelet for Alex.
The ‘Eggs’ cook has a rhythm to rival any chef. He has a bin of white shelled eggs to his left and separate buckets filled with chopped onion, mushrooms, cheese and peppers. In front of him he has small bowls in a row. And directly in front of him, three burners with three iron frying pans.
With his left hand and without looking, he cracks an egg into a bowl and again without looking he tosses the shell into a plastic lined bin.
There are three pans of eggs cooking and he asks. “What do you want in your omelet? He has flipped each omelet one by one and is stirring the bowls each with two eggs while adding desired ingredients. Next, he flips the cooked eggs onto the plate for each guest. Now he empties the bowls into the pan the cycle continues. I tried an omelet day two and found it too greasy – just didn’t like the taste of the oil.
We enjoyed our space at the edge of the sea cliff. Two older women one tier below us are sunning topless. They were both women who would not keep a man’s lingering eyes for more than a moment yet it surprises me that they would do this in a Muslim country.
An Egyptian fellow with youthful physic and long black hair worn in a pony tail, strolled over to them. He is trying to sell excursions. He walks among the sunbather’s daily trying to sell. I don’t know if they booked a holiday, but they made no attempt to cover themselves and he did not rush away. He wore his sunglasses and a smile as he chatted with them.
By noon we had enough heat and moved to the pool. There was only half the number of people here today. We had a cup of tea after our swim and sat under the umbrellas
After lunch we spoke to an older couple who walked by our table. He is from Finland and she is from Copenhagen. “We aren’t married,” she said. “We are just friends enjoying this holiday together.”
Lunch finished, we walked back again to where the jetty goes out into the sea at the bottom of the far cliff. The beach is opened, red flag down and I wanted to go into the water walking along the boards. There are steel posts all along with a steel railing on each side. No shark worry today. Alex holds the camera with one hand the railing with the other. I used both hands on the railing! The tide is high and water to our thighs. The boards are slippery. I was in bare feet but Alex wore sandals.
We look into the water and can see the fish swimming around our legs. Beautiful colors and sizes were so amazing. Green with black stripes tiny fish and larger turquoise fish with yellow fins. It took us about twenty minutes to get to the end. There were a couple of other vacationers out there and a couple just coming out. Alex coaxed me to swim so I did but only between the railings” We would have to come down here at six in the morning if we wanted to walk on the boards without water. After our sea experience we sat on a couple of loungers on this nearly deserted beach. We helped ourselves to a cup of tea from the drinks booth.
As we sat here relaxing, a new staff who we had not met before stopped and commented about my hair.
“Your wife has beautiful hair.” He said etc. etc.
Alex asked, “Do you have a girlfriend.”
Hany Mohammed (26 years) replied, “She is in the U.K.
That led to the whole story which he spent twenty minutes lamenting his lovelorn dilemma. He is in love with Mandy a forty year old British woman who came here for a holiday 8 months ago. She works for a gas company in Yorkshire.
While here on holiday, she did with Hany what an unmarried Egyptian woman would be killed for doing. They are texting every day and he is spending nearly all his wage on phone texts. He says that she won’t move to Egypt and he could never get a visa to move to the U.K. He says he can’t sleep at night for missing her and thinking of her and his is making his self crazy.
Alex asks, “Where are you missing her? Here –pointing to head, or here – pointing to heart – or here, pointing to groin?”
Hany gave a look of surprise and said, “Here, pointing to head, and here, pointing to heart.”
Alex said, “You need to ask her if you were just her toy boy.”
“Toy-boy? I don’t understand, “replies Hany.
“Ask her, if this was just a holiday romance. Find yourself a nice Muslim wife.”
He has spent a half hour lamenting his romance story. Alex said, “Well we wish you the best and what is meant to be will be.”
After he left Alex said, “I can guarantee that she is stringing him along and feeling quite proud of herself. It is a status thing for her, showing his photo around the office and sharing his texts with her friends. “and as for him….well I have never know such a double standard!”
On our stroll back to our room, we stopped at the kids’ zoo where there are parrots, budgies and turtles. Then we sat down at the Pergolia, the Rest beside the pool. There is Egyptian music and in the raised area in the middle of the swimming pool, half a dozen girls are learning belly dancing wearing their bikini and a sarong with jingling coins. Bright colors, blue, orange, yellow etc. The silver haired men on the sun loungers are now sitting up on their elbows and enjoying the sight of gyrating hips in rhythm to the beats. Alex is admiring from the shade of the opened wall Restaurant.

This week has passed so quickly! We both vow to make our next holiday two weeks or ten days at least. This is our first holiday ever that we have not hired a car. We knew we needed to relax and catch up on rest – de-stress.
Alex mentioned this at lunch today and how much he has enjoyed this week of just doing nothing! It has been a time of restoration when normally we are busy with exploration of new places. Also this is not the place to explore alone.
From the airport in a taxi and to Nama bay by bus, we passed three different check points where vehicles must slow down for police checks. Two police at each point and Alex noticed the one behind a shield had an automatic weapon. Alex said they are looking for a certain type of vehicle, a particular registration; someone not from this area would be stopped and searched.
Seven o’clock and this is our last night here. I sit on the balcony and Alex is sleeping. Below me I see the bright light sign on the restaurant ‘Grill-house’
There is a lovely floral covered archway leading into the airy restaurant. Indoors the floor is concrete with multi colored broken tiles lain in the concrete. They create an artistic pattern. The walls are like wicker basket and end about four feet up where the windows. The double windows all round close in the centre if the evening breezes are too cool. Each has six panes of glass. The roof overhead is constructed with panels of wicker, interspersed with panels of thin slatted wood. The tree trucks throughout are used as supports and wrapped with rope. The tops have been cut off except for three at the front which stick up through the roof with their palm leaves. There are candle lamps on each table and an open oven where the pita bread is baked in front of our eyes, fresh for each meal.
We had to be out of our room by noon on Sunday. At ten to twelve the reception staff rang our room to see if our bags were ready. Alex said, “Not yet,” Although we were ready.
At noon we heard a knock on the door, here was a staff to take our suitcases. “You can come to the Dining room for noon meal and we will put your suitcases in our storage room until two o’clock.”

The Mohammed, who has taken care of our room all week and brought us fresh drinks each day, is very happy this morning. He tells us, “My wife had a baby boy yesterday!” She is good and baby is good and she will go home tomorrow. I can go home this afternoon at five o’clock. I will see my new son and be a week at home.”
“What will you name him?” I ask.
“Mohammed,” he answered.
This is a nine hour bus ride for him to his home in west central Egypt. We leave him a hundred Egyptian which is half a month salary for him. They are all so very polite and helpful.
We got a private taxi to the airport ahead of the shuttle bus and were in the front of the queue at the airport. They were so very slow, but polite and smiling. As we walked through passport control to exit, the staff spied Alex’s pen in his shirt pocket.
“I need that pen!” he pointed. Alex unsure what he wanted….”The pen! The pen! Give to me.” Alex handed over his pen and the guy was pleased with his power of persuasion! We walked through and waited for our flight with out any further bribes required. On the plane, seven hours return compared to five to go there. The air traffic controllers are on strike so the pilot must fly point to point which takes us longer.
We spoke to other guests who visited Cairo and could not believe the terrible standard of living. They saw dead cows laying in a gutter between houses and squalor similar to some parts of India.
There was so much to do and see if one wanted activities and for not a lot of money. Quad bikes in the dessert, Camel riding, and Bedouin dinner in the dessert. Visit the fresh water springs of Abu Galum. We could have traveled by bus to Jerusalem for £70, seen Mount Sinai for £22. (The mountain where the Ten Commandments was written)
We returned to Norwich, our faces and bodies shiny with sweet-smelling ointments and our hearts and minds gleaming with the sense of accomplishment. We set out to rest, enjoy the sun and come back revived and we have. It is a magnificent resort and if we return we will stay longer and make time to at least, visit the pyramids. They were building a wall around them and in future they will charge people to get close, making tourists pass through a gate to get close enough for a good look.

Empty Lump ...emotional hump

It was a Tuesday afternoon and a week of waiting was finally going to come to an end. It’s been a week of wondering, pretending not to worry when behind my outward positive attitude; my brain is in pre-panic mode. The letter was so cold and clinical.

Top of the page, I am part of project no. 096475. Following you recent breast x-ray, it has been found necessary to ask you to attend for a further screening examination… time, date and place were noted and they said, feel free to bring someone with you if you wish.

Anyway, that was the gist of it. I have a terrific, supportive man but I saw through his ‘everything-will-be-fine-attitude.’ He loves me, and he’s worried too.

We walked hand in hand up the sidewalk of Norfolk and Norwich University Hospital to the Breast Imaging Department, Level 3, and West wing. The signs were easy to follow and the place looked large, new, but cold on this warm June afternoon. We walked up one flight of stairs, through the door and in the direction of ‘Breast imaging.’

There were two women, we assumed nurses, behind the reception area. I walked up and announced myself.

“Have a seat please; we will call you in a few minutes.”
Alex spied a pedestal fan and turned it on. The chairs were hearing aid beige and chilly vinyl, carpet colour wheelchair grey and walls painted a neutral deep terracotta colour. No pictures were hanging anywhere, but on the far end wall are nine cheques, enlarged and framed to publicize the community minded and profitable businesses, that support the development of this new breast screening unit. On the reception counter was a bouquet of milk white carnations poking up from a waterless glass vase, announcing to all; we’re fake! We’re fake! I’m hoping my lump is fake.
“Alex, I have to pee.” I always have to pee when I’m nervous. I excused myself and walk down a hall to the washroom for handicapped people.

When I returned, Alex was leaning over the counter speaking with a nurse.
“I’m sorry for being so vague, but I really can’t tell you anything else. You can speak to the Dr and ask any questions then.”
I gave his hand a little tug, “Let’s sit down, It won’t be long.”

“I knew you would have to interrogate them.” I spoke quietly.
“I was over there like a shot, as soon as you headed for the door.”
“What did you say?”
I said, “yo Doreen, give me the S.P. on my wife’s tits.”
I laughed aloud. Four other angst ridden women looked at us.
“You did not,” I grinned.
“Maybe not, but I made ya laugh.”
“Did ya notice, I wore my new shirt for the occasion?”
“And fits your belly pretty good to, no gapping buttons or anything, very handsome you are.”
“And stylish, don’t forget stylish.”
“Alex, I appreciate your support more than you know. I don’t see one other guy here.”
My name was called.
“Want me to come?” Alex asked.
“I’ll ask her.”
When I did, she said she was going to show me the x-ray and than we will see the Dr for an ultra-sound.
“Your husband can come with you than if you like.”
I gave Alex the open handed finger bend, signalling five minutes.

I stood there looking at the grey photo of my mammary glands and she pointed to a dark spot on my right breast.
“This is why you’ve been invited back.”
Invited? What a word to use… like, it’s a party of something.

It was all of one minute, to see a dark spot and then she led me through the other door, back to wait with Alex.

Another fifteen minutes passed and we’re called again, this time to another room with the ultra-sound equipment. A nurse explained what would happen. Remove you upper items of clothing and lie on the table. The Dr will be here in a few minutes. Alex helped me take of my white lacy blouse, and unfastens my new white lacy bra. I lay on the table with a white towel over my quivering breasts. The Dr came in, introduced himself and shook my hand.
I didn’t even hear his name…. Just get on with it

He smeared the gel on the right outer side of my breast and asked me to tilt on my left hip. The screening procedure took all of four or five minutes.

“If you look at the monitor, you can see what we were not sure about. Looking on the screen, I am fairly confident this is nothing but a harmless breast cyst. They come and go with hormone fluctuations. It appears we’ve worried you for nothing.” The Dr. says.

I sat up, wiped the slippery gel off. I was relieved. I saw relief on Alex’s face. He fastened my bra for me. I slipped my blouse back over my head and down over my breasts. So, I keep them for awhile longer. Next x-ray, they will hang a bit lower. The nurse presented me with a pamphlet.
“You will be called for another x-ray in three years. If you notice any change or anything unusual see your Dr.”

That’s it. We’re outa here.
Alex lead me into the shop before we leave.
“Let’s buy something, a remembrance of the positive outcome.”

What a great idea a gift for health. Everyone gives gifts for sickness; we’ll get a gift for health!

We browsed the shop and decided on a blue and white stained glass cat wind-chime and a ‘yellow finch,’ the yellow-finch is a little ceramic bird. We could have chosen a Wren, Sparrow, or Snowy Owl. There was even a bird named Blue Tit.

As we drove home, I had a flashback from last night.
“Alex,” I said. “I am clueing in now – I remember last night and just before I fell asleep. You reached your hand over to my breast and gave it three taps with three fingers.”

“I was just seeing if you were awake.”

“I think you were preparing for today.” I smiled.

“Do ya think I’m a voodoo man?” He grinned

“I think you are a special, man,” I said.

“Got you fooled, haven’t I?” He said, with a tousle of my hair.

We arrived home while the sun was still warming the garden.

“Get your kit off girl and soak up yer vitamin D.” Alex said.

I needed no coaxing and felt delight in the heat of the sun on my bare flesh, back and front. My breasts soaked up the sun’s rays – x-rays are a fading memory.
Once again, the gift of togetherness, from the man up above, is tested, and we’re blessed once more. We expect the optimistic, instead of dreading the pessimistic.

More than three years have passed since this experience. I thank God every day for my gift of health. When I see friends, employees and family members struggle with health challenges, it reminds me to be truly thankful for this daily gift. None of us know how fleeting it can be.

Loving in a unique way

I have been up for five hours. Have enjoyed breakfast ritual with my husband and kissed him out the door at 07:30. He is working out of the house today and I have been busy in. After a quick trip to the local market, I have returned to begin the house chores. Bathroom finished and now a break for a cup of coffee and a peanut bar!

I am rewinding my memory tapes to Thursday night when I had severe pains in my abdomen with a huge hard bloated tummy.
“I have terrible gas pains Alex.”
“Time for bed anyway – I will come with you and give you an Alex fix.”

Into bed we climbed.
“Give me a pussy position.” He asked.
I positioned on my knees with head down and elbows on the bed leaning down with bum in the air. Alex reached under and began moving and pushing and rubbing my abdomen.
“That hurts!”
“Be patient, only for a few moments.” “Okay, now onto your back.”
There was more rubbing and tapping and gentle thumping.
I began to burp lots of air coming from the upper tubes.
“Now lay on your side with your knees up.”
I had my back to his front and I knew he was right in the line of fire if my rocket did blast off.
“Just relax – let it come.”
More squeezing and shaking of my tummy,
“It’s coming.”
Alex flipped off the duvet leaving us open to the air and out came the longest, loudest, biggest bum-burp I have ever had!
“Oh dear,” I gasped then laughed.
Alex laughed aloud. “Now there ye are - the cause of your bloated sore belly has been exorcised!”

I have had stomach aches in the past and maybe pop an antacid or just suffer. I have not been so in touch with my natural digestive system.
“I wonder what gave me that load of gas.”
“Probably what you had for lunch, left over salad, cabbage, onion and bean salad; triple methane makers!”

The Duvet was tucked back over our spooned bodies and I slept like a contented burped baby!

It is the little everyday things that cement a relationship and keep us feeling loved. I am thankful for the love in my life.

We were both tired from our four hours drive and our Friday night dancing. To-day we had walked around all the exhibits again and we had used the Spa facilities and spent time in the steam room. Alex had a short nap while I did my nails in preparation for the black-tie dinner dance.

Now he looked suave and debonair in his black tux and I wore my red dress with red sequined heels. We started making our way down to the Mallard Suite where the dinner-dance was being held.

We had met some of the people last evening at the Friday night function. And there were some new-comers here tonight. Deb was one of the women I met Friday night. The singer in the band tonight is her boyfriend. So she is here with him, yet alone. She worked the floor Friday night dancing her booty off in her little black dress, stockings and heals. Her hair is brunette and shoulder length. Tonight she wears a peach coloured dress that just barely covers her rear. It has rows of ruffles and is low at the front. Deb has been dancing up a storm since the band began.

We got up and danced some but the music was just not as great as the performers last night. They were two gay guys and they were really great. Alex and I seemed to be working to have fun tonight. And many of the others left soon as dinner was finished. We carried on dancing when the band returned for their last set. Deb carried on dancing round the room and tried to coax a couple up that were at our table. No one was game and the female partners were showing obvious possessiveness of their men. Deb then decided to jump up on the empty table next to us and begin dancing on the table in her stilettos on the white table cloth. The table did not look all that strong. We could see it giving in the middle from her weight. Alex pulled the camera out and held it up to take a photograph.

“If you take that photo I will delete it.”

He put the camera in his pocket and said quietly, “time to go I think.”
We said good bye to Nick and Janet sitting beside us and walked past Deb dancing on the table.
She leaned down to speak. “Are you leaving?”
As we walked through the lobby and down the hall, Alex was silent.

Back in our room the air was thick was his unspoken anger.
We both undressed and put on the terry robes. I washed my face and brushed my teeth ready for bed. It was now midnight.

Alex spoke. “Don’t ever say that to me again.”

Was he over reacting? Was I oblivious to what had just happened?
Alex sat in the chair and I lay on the bed.
After five minutes Alex came to the bed and lay beside me.

“Do you want to tell me what is going on?
I didn’t think you needed to be taking photos of her. We already have photos of her from last night.

Alex spoke. “And last night you were dancing with her and enjoying yourself. What is different about tonight?” You don’t need to be jealous of anybody. I’ve been dancing with you all night – I was sitting beside you. Were you not getting enough of my attention?”

He went on…”and who takes the photos off the camera?”
“Well, I do.” I said. “I wonder if you would have thought it entertaining if it were me who got up to dance on the table.”
“I would have thought great, I would have been thrilled to see you enjoying yourself and being free.”

“Well, I was embarrassed for her and thought she was over the top in seeking attention”

“I think you were judging and I think you were jealous that she had a bit of my attention. Don’t ruin our relationship based upon habits from your past relationship. Do you not want me to love you any more? I am with you and I was sitting beside you when I was pointing the camera. You don’t need to worry about me. When I am away from your or when I am with you. I think you are just overtired – we are both tired and I don’t think we need to discuss it any longer tonight. We may talk about it on the way home tomorrow, when you have time to reflect and when we have both had a good sleep.

I reflect upon it all today. It now seems trivial. Do I have anything to learn from my actions? I do have a tendency to fall backwards…into insecurities…into thinking I need to compete with others…compare myself with others. Alex has never said to me; don’t take a photo of whomever or whatever. Was I being controlling when I spoke out to him and in the process revealed my own insecurities and jealous streak? Sadly yes. I thought the green-eyed monster was long buried and this incident lets me know old bad habits need consistent vigilance and awareness. I am lucky I have a confident man who knows me and reassures me daily. I am thankful I have a partner who can discuss things with me and not go into a rage if he doesn’t like something. I will keep working on my subconscious insecurities and work at acknowledging the love that comes my way daily.

Time to Play

A significant comment was made today by my beloved. We enjoyed a special half hour in our local Wymondham coffee shop and indulged in a treat. Wheat free-gluten free choc cake for me with ice cream and Alex had a pancake with bananas and ice-cream + toffee sauce drizzled on top! We sipped our coffee and savoured our dessert, the first in a few weeks.


Next we walked across to a charity shop to have a snoop. Alex found me two new over the shoulder purses; one large one for use everyday and a small one for going out. Then I tried on a size ten pair of Liz Claiborne jeans and they fit! I came out of the fitting room with a smile.

“Did you go across and get that Canada cap yourself?” Alex asked a senior man.
I took notice of the elderly man, dressed casual and with a cap with Red letters on it…CANADA. On the cap he also had a bee pin.
“My son lives near Barrie.” He replied. “He has an estate there with all kinds of wildlife and trees.”
I thought to myself, here it would maybe be an estate. There it is just a piece of land in the north.
“Have you been to visit him?” I asked.
“No, we’re too old to fly. Eighty and my wife would have heart flutters the whole way. We’ve never flown!”
“Take a boat.” Alex commented.
“My son was here to visit us this summer. He couldn’t wait to get back there.”
“Linda is from Canada.” Alex said. “We’ll likely end up there one day.”

We left that shop and stopped at another charity shop. I found a new belt to wear with my jeans. We browsed for awhile and then strolled back to the car about 4:30. These little snippets of normalcy together are like cement for holding all the relationship bricks together. When so much of our time is spent dealing with work crisis re people issues or vehicles repairs.

This evening as we sat watching television, I muted the volume during a commercial.
“That is the very first time you have actually said those words Alex… that we may end up in Canada one day.”

“I know… I knew you would pick that up. There was a reason for saying it.”
It gives me a glimmer of possibility to hold on to. In ten years Alex has never actually said that. He knows how torn I sometimes feel between longing to be near family yet loving and being committed to him. I made the choice ten years ago and always held hope that one day I would return to Ontario and family with Alex. He has never given me glimmer until this afternoon. I will hold on to that! And I will build my excitement daily towards my flight next month to see family.

Mother ctd.

He wears grey trousers a dark; blue short-sleeved shirt, navy socks and beige loafers. On his right arm is a watch. This is the first time I’ve noticed this; most people wear a watch on their left arm. She sits on his left side, leaning into him affectionately. She looks demure in a light blue blouse and darker blue slacks, with her hands clasped between her knees. On her feet are white socks and white lace up trainers. She wears glasses. They both wear a teenage smile and you can see the love bubbling over as they sit on a rocky shore with sand and pebbles at their feet. They are on their honeymoon. I describe my mother who at this time was seventy and her new husband seventy-one. I gaze at a photo of them taken by one of her daughters.

 We were thrilled to see her happy and in love. She had had a ‘less-than-perfect’ marriage with our father for about forty years until he fell to the floor in their trailer home, dying of a heart attack. After her husband’s death she was baptized into the Baptist church. I thought this was so sad. Not the fact that she was baptized, but the fact that she felt she had to wait until her husband, was gone before she felt free do this, in the little Baptist church that she took us to when we were little girls..

 She spent a few years adjusting to being on her own. She made women friends for the first time and played rummy with them, went on bus trips and excursions. She bought her own home by the lake and began fresh, near most of her off-spring. She now lived a short drive from two of her daughters and two of her sons. Two other daughters were only an hour’s drive away. I’ve not ever heard my mother complain. Never about how hard she always worked. Never about our father, who sometimes treated her like crap and other times wrote her romantic poems. When she went through a depression at forty-five, after her hysterectomy; he dressed her up in ‘hot-pants’ and she pleased him by wearing them. I recall the two of them coming to visit me when I was pregnant with my little girl. I looked like a blimp and she looked like a ‘hot mama’. She would be called a ‘yummy mommy’ in today’s language. I felt inferior, likely not a new feeling if I am honest.

Twelve years have passed since I wrote the above.  Mother is now almost 92 and in a Nursing home.   She started her mental decline near Eighty and  now has dementia.  She does not eat on her own, needs to be fed.  All her daily functions that one has just being alive, require support.   She rarely speaks or even opens her eyes yet, she opens her mouth to eat and drink.   Life is so very unfair.  So ironic when you know that our mother worked for 35 years in a nursing home as a health care aide.   She rarely had a sick day and carried out her job with compassion and dedication.  Mother never smoked, never drank alcohol,   I wonder at the luck of the draw as we age, myself now seventy-one.   

Mother

I read my sister’s blog this afternoon and begin to acknowledge our Mother’s dementia. Last time I was with her my husband was with me as well as my best friend Linda May and her husband.

It was a Sunday and Roy decided they would skip church today. Instead we all went out for lunch at a local Restaurant in Bayfield and then we went to Grandbend to play mini golf. It was a great day together, something totally different for Mom. She seemed to have clarity of thought that day. We didn’t ask anything of her, we were all just being together.

I’ve know other people of an old age who had dementia but it is different when it is mother. I feel like I have been out of my family’s life for the last ten years. With a once a year visit it is not possible keep in touch with everyone of them. I wonder how in touch I was with mother when I did live near enough to drive over. I can remember her driving to Dundas when I first moved there. In fact she loaned me $2000.00 to help me leave the farm, sixteen years ago. I repaid the debt within a year. I recall meeting her at the elevator of the sixth floor and seeing her for the first time with her white hair. I guess that was my first acknowledgement that ‘mother was aging’.

I remember a few years earlier, sitting in a car, just Mom and I. I shared with her the miserable man she had for a husband and gave her details of father’s abuse. I had been in a counseling group for abuse survivors. I don’t know what I thought would happen. I don’t know if I thought she would kick her husband out. I don’t even know why I told her. “That’s just terrible.” She said. We didn’t talk about it again. She didn’t ask, “Did this happen to any of your sisters.” She just carried on with her life as she had before.

During a time that I lived on the farm with my Ex., and when I had graduated college at 41, she came to visit. She gave me £50.00 and we went shopping and bought a new outfit for work. It was blue culottes with a white blouse.

I am glad that I always listen to mom when ever she telephones. The past few years it’s been the same. She talks and I listen. It was like she just needs to know I am still here and even if she will never get here to see me, she knows I always listen. She doesn’t ask anything about me. She always says, “Say hello to Alex.”
Then she ends by saying, “Well I don’t know what else I can tell you – that’s about all my news for now.” I say, “Love you mom” She replies, “Love you to.”

That’s all that matters. I don’t think a mother ever forgets how to love, whether she has dementia or clarity of thought.

I’ve got lots more to write about mother but this is enough for now.